l’ve always believed the best way to learn how to support a friend in a specific situation is to ask someone who has been there. I understood this more deeply after I lost a parent and after I had a child. Before our first baby was born, I truly had no idea how to help my friends who were new parents. Once I experienced it myself, I better understood the importance of simple things like dropping off easy, healthy snacks
When someone is in the hospital, the patient often receives the care needed from both medical staff and their caregivers to heal and recover. When a loved one is hospitalized, often the patient’s caregiver is in need of support as well. I recently read a discussion where people shared what helped them most while caring for a spouse in the hospital. In this particular situation, the children were already well cared for, so that was not the immediate need. The question was: How do you best love a friend who is spending nearly all their time at the hospital with a parent or spouse? These tips are helpful whether you live nearby or far, because the hospital can quickly become your friend’s entire world for a season.
Here were the top suggestions from those who have been there:
1. Give cash!
The number one suggestion, by far, was to give money. Start a collection and send cash. This could be physical cash, a Visa gift card, or Venmo. There are so many unexpected expenses, and financial support is a tangible way to show love.
Consider including a note that says:
“This money is sent with love from your friends. Please use it for parking, gas, cafeteria food, a hotel room, coffee, drive-thrus, dinner, or groceries. We love you and want it to be easy for you to have what you need during this time.”
2. Bring food to the hospital (if allowed).
If hospital policies allow outside food, this can be incredibly helpful. Take the decision-making out of lunch or dinner and bring something you know they love. Sitting bedside is exhausting, and many caregivers don’t want to leave the room for fear of missing the doctor.
3. Send snacks.
DoorDash is thoughtful, but if it’s the entire gift, it can limit flexibility. Instead, consider putting together a snack basket or care package with healthy snacks and favorite drinks. You could even attach small, cheerful notes to each item. Here are some ideas for snacks you could include.
4. Support the caregivers at home.
If children are being cared for by others, ask those caregivers if meals would be helpful. You could organize a meal schedule for the family members who are affected but not staying at the hospital.
If you want to show love to someone staying at the hospital with a loved one, financial help is often what supports them most in a real, practical way.
Warmly,
Adina
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